Posts Tagged ‘failure’

Be the Weight You Want and Stay There | Reflections on 2008

Monday, February 2nd, 2009

After being online for a year, I began thinking about this blog.  What is my theme?  What is my purpose? Who do I write it for?

Well, first of all “be the weight you want” means two things.  One is that you can be slimmer – you do not have to be as heavy as you are.  Second is that you can choose your weight goal.  You do not have to choose a weight from some sort of chart  that tells you your ‘ideal’ weight.  You will know when you are at your ideal weight. You will feel healthy, stronger, and have more energy.  “And Stay There? ” Well, what is the use of losing the weight if you are going to put it right back  on.

I guess the main reason I write these posts is to share with other people like me – men or women – what I have learned through my life experiences and situations and also what I have learned about weight loss.  I didn’t just put weight on.  I became very depressed in my life, my marriage to an alcoholic.  I went from 100 lbs to 130 lbs over 5 years (and had two children during that time).  After my divorce, I was able to lose back down to 105 lbs.

Then I found myself in a marriage with a very controlling person.  He was very adamant that his wife not put on weight.  My way of rebellion was to slip out and eat Mexican foods and anything else.  When events happened to end the marriage, I again fell into depression.  I felt like I was a total failure in my life in every aspect of my life.  Eating was enjoyable and made me ‘feel’ better.  Going on with life, my social life became eating out with friends.  Year after year my weight went up.  I would ‘diet’ once in a while and lose some weight, then put it back on plus.

When I found myself feeling weak and tired all the time with no ambition or energy, I finally made a huge step.  I got on a program where I buy the food from them, it is portioned correctly, has the correct nutrients, and has the correct calories.  This is what worked for me.  But more than that, I met with a mentor once a week to weigh in and  talk. I had to realise and BELIEVE that I deserve to be healthy, and slim.  That I have the ability to lose the weight.  That I need to change my relationship with  food and my view of myself.

One of the first things I had to change was my ’self-talk’.  I had to stop downgrading myself.  When things disappointed me, I could not beat myself black and blue over it (verbally).  Then I had to realize that the amount of food I was eating was the correct food to keep my body healthy.  It contained everything my  body needed during the day.  Next, I had to start realizing why I was  ‘hungry’ when I felt hungry.  Was I sad, angry, excited, bored, nervous, etc?  Or maybe even thirsty.  Besides changing habits, I needed to find alternate ways to deal with these emotions.

Who is this blog for?  It is for anyone who can learn from it.  Since I weight 200% of what they say my ‘ideal’ weight is, I guess it would be  for seriously overweight people who do not have a medical reason for their weight problem – and maybe even for them also.  It would be for the people who share my emotional eating patterns, for the people whose self-image and self-worth is bad and skewed, for the people who eat to socialize, and for the people who have tried to lose weight unsuccessfully.

If anyone reads a post and a light bulb goes on “Hey, that is true for me.  I can change that”, then this blog has fulfilled its purpose.

I hope that you will browse through the site index.  There is a lot of good content – real content – that might help you or someone you care about.

Please, feel free to leave a comment.

 Be the Weight You Want and Stay There | Reflections on 2008
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Good News: Succeed at Weight Loss/Gain

Sunday, November 30th, 2008
weight loss resort - Morning Beach Walk
Image by ninahale via Flickr

How can you reach your weight loss/gain goal?  Just as there are simple rules that cannot be changed to lose weight, there is one rule to succeed.  ‘The only way you can fail is to quit.’

I heard this in regards to starting an online business.  Thinking about it, I realized that this is true in my weight loss also.  I did so well when I started the last time.  I lost almost 30 pounds.  The length of time it took me to lose it really doesn’t matter unless I am trying to spin it to sell something.  The thing that matters is that I lost it.  Then I gained it back, or most of it.  The good news is I was gaining about 10 pounds a year previous to the last year and a half.  Then I started taking a medication that some people gain 20 pounds a year on.  I still am under my starting weight.

Why am I boring you with my story?  Not because I am proud of it.  I feel a bit ashamed to admit it.  I am telling you this so you realize – just because you gain some weight (or lose if you are trying to gain) is NO reason to quit.  In fact, just because you reach your goal is no reason to quit (or you might back slide, so you have to maintain).

What I can say is  I am more aware of what I eat and why I eat.  Everyday I realize what I eat that is outside my eating plan – it may be a ‘permitted’ food, but over the calories or just foods that I shouldn’t eat to continue to lose.

If I am going to be of any help to anyone reading this, I must be honest.  And being honest to you I have to be honest with myself.  That makes me accountable since I care what my readers feel.  Each of you are a unique and precious individual.  Each of you deserves to reach your healthy goal.  And every pound we gain or lose towards our goal makes us healthier.  It boosts our self-image and self-confidence.

So remember when you decide to tell yourself what a failure you are to stop yourself.  Remember what you have accomplished.  And always remember that

The only way you can fail is to QUIT.   So don’t.

Now it is your turn.  Share what progress you have made in your thinking, attitude, education, and/or weight change.  Remember – this applies whether you are trying to gain or lose weight.  Leave your comments!

Also, I have started a forum at I have started a new forum on weight loss and weight gain. Come join in http://groups.myspace.com/betheweightyouwant.  It is on MySpace.com, so be sure to add me as a friend also.

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